i have allergies...when i poop

we're in brooklyn this week, mainly to check out preschools and to get to know the neighborhoods. we're staying at a vacation rental in park slope and love the neighborhood. it would be great if we are able to find an affordable rental here. we will be checking out other neighborhoods throughout the week, but this trip is really about finding a preschool that is willing to accept siri, or at least put her on a wait list (for those who remember the nightmare of sf preschool applications, just think that, but on steroids).

our preschool adventures began this morning. we had an 8:15am appointment at midwood montessori, which is literally one block away from brooklyn college. we all got up at 6am, which is really 3am for us west coasters. siri was a bit delirious, but on okay behavior. we loved midwood montessori. the location is fabulous, the curriculum is great, and the facilities are cute and age-appropriate. we filled out an application and have an interview scheduled for wednesday morning.

we next made our way back to park slope, where we visited the montessori school of new york, international. as soon as we walked through the front doors, jeff and i knew we would not be sending siri there. but, since we were there, we went ahead with the interview anyway. siri was given the option to play with the other kids, but she chose to accompany us in the director's office. so, she was given a few puzzles to work on, and we had a discussion with the director. the conversation was of course, punctuated with siri giving us directives, and singing loudly to herself. this was all rather embarrassing, but not compared to her answer about allergies.

the director asked if siri had any allergies. jeff told her that he has a severe nut allergy, but we don't know about siri yet. siri then chimes in and says, "i have allergies when i poop." i was totally caught off guard, and tried really hard to not look at the director's face. i looked at siri, shook my head and mouthed "no." she continued, while staring right at the director: "i sometimes have allergies when my poop doesn't come out straight." at this point, i was horrified. despite the fact we didn't want to enroll siri there, this was some scene written for a comedy flick about embarrassing kids at school interviews. i just wanted to crawl into a hole until the director left the office. nevertheless, this was no movie (unfortunately), and i responded with, "okay, siri, no potty talk, okay?" she continues to blab about poop and allergies. then, i tell her in chinese to stop talking about it, and she stops.

the allergy/poop thing isn't new in our household. at some point, siri got it in her head that constipation = allergies. why that connection? we have absolutely no clue. so, when she's constipated, she says "i have allergies." we tried correcting her in the beginning, but decided it didn't do any harm and was rather amusing, so let the issue go. and plus, it had never been a problem...until today. we were mortified at the interview. we should be getting our notification from the school in the mail next week. i'm sure we didn't get in, which is fine since we didn't like the school anyway. but, we already like one and will hopefully like others on the docket. let's just hope all subsequent interviews do not involve allergies or poop...or anything else embarrassing like, "my cat barfed all over our bed," or "sometimes, my bottom itches," or "i don't have a penis."